Listed at the bottom of the page was the announcement that made her heart pound, as if to break through her chest– they were married. It happened last Saturday. He appeared happy, she thought. She searched for any indication of unhappiness, but the picture was perfect, even the flower girls were behaving. Two years ago, she believed that she found the one, as she walked in Central Park with him, she smiled inside, excited at the thought of forever. Now, she feels stuck, stuck in what was, two years ago.
She placed the Sunday Times down on her coffee table and inhaled the aroma of the chamomile tea, hoping that it would soothe her. Any minute now she knew her mom would call to ask her about her feelings– she wasn’t in the mood. She wanted to place every means of communication on pause, her cell phone, her home phone, her email, her mind… the constant chatter in her mind was creating a headache.
So, she thought, it is done, now it is a good time to start over. “Here’s to new beginnings, Tosh,” she said aloud to her dog, named after Peter Tosh, the Jamaican singer. Tosh just looked at her and then began to scratch himself. Billie Holiday’s “All of Me” began to play on her radio, so fitting for the mood she was in.
She opened the curtains and looked outside, the morning was so beautiful that she almost forgot how sad she was and then she caught a glimpse of the paper. Wow, I wish him the best, she said aloud. Man, she cannot wait for the time when she really means it!
Her phone began to ring and she stood there listening to her mother, “Sasha. It’s your mother, give me a call, I… I know you saw the paper. I just want to know how ya doing?” Like any Jamaican, Bridgette had two names a “pet name” or nickname–Sasha and her real name, which was on the birth certificate:Bridgette. Only family and close friends knew her as Sasha and her mom only called her Bridgette when she was annoyed with her.
Not a second after the message, her cell phone rang– it was her mother– this one she knew she had to pick up because if she didn’t, the entire NYPD would be put on alert.
Sasha, did you see the paper?
How you doing dere?
I am okay. They look lovely.
Hmm.hmm, Sasha don’t pay dat any mind you ear
Yes, mommy. I know.
Well, you want to come over dinner?
Hmm, that sounds tempting, but can I tell you later or just drop by
Alright, you know you don’t even have to ask, girl
ok, mom, thanks
I love you Sasha
I love you, too. Bye
Now she knew her mom was worried. Her parents are not the type to vocally discuss love, unless they were concerned. This started when she was in undergrad and got very depressed after a breakup with her boyfriend of two years. He was her first love and with the load of having two majors, she became depressed. So, when her parents found out, they started telling her that they loved her after every conversation, as if to say, “don’t kill yourself, we are here.” So, now she knew that especially when her mother said I love you, she was in big trouble, emotionally.
She needed a walk and so did Tosh. She wanted to go to the local farmers market anyway.