I Celebrate Myself…

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Hung out in Chinatown tonight. The atmosphere was a contrast to the usual hustle and bustle in the daytime. A new friend is returning to London after a stay here for four months. She and I would watch the matinĂ©es on Sundays at 42nd Street (where the price is $6–can’t beat that!). I will miss our dates and me rushing to be on time.

A group of her friends and coworkers/friends that we have in common celebrated with her in Chinatown eating some very good and very cheap Chinese food. I took a card from the proprietors before we left: I plan on going again.

As I walked the streets of Chinatown to meet the group for dinner, I couldn’t help to wonder what it was like two hundred years ago with rickshaws lining the streets instead of cars and I couldn’t help to wonder what will line the streets of Chinatown two hundred years from now.


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Ahh, my music: I just turned on my itunes after a long hiatus and maybe I now have to rush and finish this post before my computer shuts off ( where is the wood I need to knock on for good luck?): it’s working over time with two programs open at the same time.

Sappy loves songs are forcing their way to my ear by way of random selection…and I am resistant. I crave empowering songs.

Talk about empowering, Jane Eyre is an awesome character. I remember watching the movie when I was a teenager and falling in love with this bold and captivating character who was unlike the Victorian women often written in history: quiet and docile.

In Bronte’s book Eyre talks about the awful Winters at the institution she is forced to live in and with a weather like this present one in New York, I can imagine! It’s really cold. The Midwest is having a more difficult time with sub-zero degree temperatures and the closing of schools due to the weather. I so look forward to staying in and cuddling up to my book this weekend… and putting my room back in order after the craziness of getting new floors in my room, but that calls for another post and a time when my computer will allow it.

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Woke up, after a night of tossing and turning, in a kind of melancholy mood. Tomorrow, the carpet will be uprooted from my bedroom floor and replaced with wooden floors and so today I have to pack all my things and place them in the kitchen and the hallway of the house–a good opportunity to get rid of excess stuff.

I have compromised with my computer that if I just stay on it for a few minutes a day, it will not shut off on me. This deal was just made this week, so let’s see how it goes.

Listening to Concha Buika right now; her music is so good for a Sunday afternoon. Her voice is like a sadder version of Lila Downs’. She is awesome. The song Volver, Volver just came on– it is exquisite and real– reflects my mood at the moment.

I just finished reading Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende, and she has a line where Eliza, the protagonist is trying to figure out if she is holding onto the idea of finding her lover because she is still in love or because she is prideful and that just stuck with me.

To heal from a broken heart or a broken dream is in a lot of ways coming to terms with that prideful part of yourself… the part that is surprised that the unfortunate outcome happened to you.

I am trying to figure out what was what at the moment…

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Be Here Now

When you take a few steps back in your healing process and go there: that place of “why not me?!” and “if onlys,” you need some sense of reassurance that it is okay and you need something to pull you out and up from that emotional pit of despair. The moment I went “there” tonight, I was immediately blessed with this song in my mind:

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With A Sense of Purpose

The New Year for me began in silence. I went to a yoga studio where for three hours– from 9 to 12– I was completely silent. The entire space was silent. Those three hours found me meditating, reflecting, journaling and in between those times, people watching.

I want to improve my yoga practice and although I do not think that I want to continue it at that studio, I am thankful for the space that it provided for me that night.

Now, I am in the midst of finding a yoga space that suits me and I will be taking classes at various studios before I pay for packaged sessions. The Yoga Journal’s January issue has a list of yoga studios that is proving to be rather helpful. And because my knowledge is limited in knowing the various names and poses within the practice, the Journal’s guide helps you find a studio that might suit your personality.

I have decided to live this life with a sense of purpose. There are different things that I want to do but the foundation for me is this state of consciousness I aspire to have that in all aspects of my life. My challenge at this point is to be patient. Being compassionate throughout this process (which is ongoing and continuous) is essential.