Ngala-Najla

I Celebrate Myself…

How Long Do I Want to Be Loved?

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I have been attempting to hold on to the serenity that Ramadan provided me…maybe I should say, the serenity that I allowed myself to regain during Ramadan. Now, things are picking up at work and I am barely going to my retreat during lunch breaks–eating and socializing have taken back their reign. I have only gone twice this week to my sanctuary. Yet, I am thankful, and I am finding other ways and times to reconnect with myself and with the Divine: From deep breaths, and morning prayers, to writing in my journal and reminding myself that I am worth all the goodness in life, to now volunteering at a local food pantry just to get out of my own sense of victim hood that I get caught up in some times…I am feeling more grounded and rooted. This feeling, I know, will not be continuous, life makes certain of it, but I am slowly rebuilding  my foundation (I think), and I pray that on bad days I can dig deep in and not stay down too long wallowing in self pity.

As I write this, I am listening to Dixie Chicks’ Lullaby and a line from the song asks, “How long do you wanna be loved? Is forever enough, is forever enough?” I am asking myself that questions;  I am feeding myself  those lines, loving me. I want the love that is expressed in that song to be the way in which I love myself– soft, understanding, unconditional love. Does that make sense? It sure does to me.

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Author: ngalanjala

I Have Learned So much from God That I can no longer Call Myself A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim, A Buddhist, a Jew. The Truth has shared so much of Itself With me That I can no longer call myself A man, a woman, an angel, Or even pure Soul. Love has Befriended Hafiz so completely It has turned to ash And freed Me Of every concept and image My mind has ever known. ~ Hafiz ~

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