At times I find myself tempted to look back, and think about what might have been, or how I looked or how much money I did or did not have, or where I lived, even. On cold nights like this one, having a roof over your head will remind you to be thankful for the present.
This evening I went into my parents’ room to look in the mirror. I think I was trying to look at something on my pants or something, but in that moment I did a double take, and actually loved who I saw looking back at me. I thought she was BEAUTIFUL. I truly believed it, too. This belief was not arrogant — it was pure. I was not “made up” or anything; I didn’t have anything fancy on, but I saw a reflection of someone who had a light about her, and recognized that it was me! I stood there for a moment and then I said, “I think I am starting to finally accept you.”
So, I am trying to stay in the present, but I am looking forward, as well. I look forward to the time when I am not surprised at this acknowlegment that I gave myself today. I look forward to just being content with that contentment, and the purity of the love I will completely feel for myself.