I Celebrate Myself…

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Desiring Peace from within and in my homeland

Now here’s the deal: There ain’t nothing like a temporary “You need to take care of your body consistently…now!” fix like going shopping for clothes. I hate it and I need to do more of it. I wish I could take off all this weight again –immediatly and I wish there were peace in my native country (what a transition!)
Sadly, Jamaica has been placed on the US State Department’s Travel Alert list. The reasons are so multifaceted that I cannot and will not try to explain the chaos that’s happening in Kingston (the capitol), Jamaica, right now, but I believe a major reason for this might be deeper than the political corruption that most are attributing to what’s going on there. Once a country that was a primier place for education, music and culture, my country tis of thee is now (in quite a few places) plagued by desperation and greed. I however have hope. I have because I need to have it, and although it can be even more grave in reality, it could be and has been a lot better.



When the Hurting Time Begins

Oh, it’s that old Melancholy feeling again
When sadness returns –an old unwelcomed friend
A tireless adversary

Straddled by emotions that sway internally like a pendulum
No hand or caress to hold it still

Succumb you must to tears and sighs
Just you to face the pain inside
When the hurting time begins
When the hurting time…begins

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List Mania

After coming home on Sunday, I proceeded to reflect on my weekend and realized, that I had a very social weekend –nice, but none of my weekend goals were fulfulled. So, I thought about creating a list of the ten things I MUST complete by the end of the week. For a split second, I thought this was a good idea until I remembered that there were still a lot of lists that I still needed to complete, including, “Goals for 2010 (since the year is not finished, I am thinking it is a work in progress)” list, “32 Things I’d like to do before I’m 32” list, OR, “Five things I should do in order to live the best month”…and on and on.
Like any analytical person –which I think I am — I like to plan, but sometimes it is hard for me to complete all that is needed to do. This happens often in my personal life,but hardly in my work or social, which says something about me not putting my needs first…but then seems to be the cry of at least every other women in the world.

With ALL that said, I think I am addicted to making lists. Yes, I’m a listaholic (too cheesy?). Honestly, I do not know what to do about that, but like every addiction, the first road to recovery is admitting that you have a problem.

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Sometimes Sleeping,Water and Music is All You Need to Make it All Better

I came home,at around 12:40am last night and I was so ready for bed. It came to me yesterday,after writing that earlier post about feeling out of sorts, that maybe what I was feeling was fatigue and also dehydration — hello! So, I came in, drank some water, took a long warm shower and gave myself a little massage on the parts of me that ached, placed a meditation album on and drifted off to sleep. I woke up 10 hours later the next morning –this morning, feeling refreshed and a lot better.

(The current host of the local NPR station, WNYC, just started playing some Otis Redding tunes and oh, so, needed that!…and now he is playing Eva Cassidy–wow!)

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When Days Don’t Make Sense

There was an episode of the Twilight Zone that I remember watching as teen, where a man, on his way to work, throws a quarter into a newspaper man’s money box and inadvertently hits a penny that stays in a certain position. For the rest of the day this man, without knowledge of what happened earlier in the day, experienced weird and unique interactions with people. I do not remember what those experiences were per se, but I do remember that they were odd — out of this world, even. The man’s experiences did not become “normal” again until he buys something else from the same newspaper man, and flips over the penny that stayed in the exact place with another coin. Why am I telling this story? I have been in an odd state of mind all day, where everythings and everything is a little…off. My emotions, my body felt out of this world. I cannot help but think about that Twilight Zone episode and wonder did I do something that catapulted my day into frenzy? And when, when will I flip that metaphorical penny back to its rightful position?

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First Clean…then Dream

I’m cleaning out my room filled with papers, and old magazines, clothes I do not wear, sample cds and other things that add to the clutter in my room… to my life.
There is something to be said about cleansing, whether a physical one like what I’m doing to my room, or what I did to my body some weeks ago. The obvious cliche is that it invites more of the goodness in…BUT it also feel damn good!

The funny thing is my parents are cleaning out the basement. They have caught the bug, too. They too are inviting the goodness in. My mom just handed me a home made card that a group of friends made for me when they surprised me with a graduation party in undergrad. The card, filled with well wishes, written by names of some people I have long forgotten ( I am not very good with names. Never forgets a face though), has a poem that reads:

“Dream Big”
–Author unknown

“If there were ever a time to dare,
To make a difference
To embark on something worth doing,

It is now.

Not for any grand cause, necessarily –
But for something that tugs at your hear
Something that is worth your aspiration,
Something that is your dream.

You owe it to yourself
To make your days count.

Have fun.  Dig deep. Stretch.

Dream big.

Know, though,
That things worth doing
Seldom come easym

There will be times when you want to turn around
Pack it up and call it quits

Those times tell you
That you are pushing yourself
And that you are not afraid to learn by trying.


Because with an idea,
Determination and the right tools,
You can do great things.

Let your instincts, your intellect
And let your heart guide you.


Believe in the incredible power
Of the human mind
Of doing something that makes a difference
Of working hard
Of laughing and hoping
Of lasting friends
Of all the things that will cross your path this year.
The start of something new
Brings the hope of something great.

Anything is possible
There is only one you
And you will pass this way but once.

Do it right.”

I am open.