I’ve seen and felt so much that words often escape me and so most times I just choose to listen to my breath. The reason why I started this blog about 5 years ago was to be heard and understood. At that time it might have been really to be seen and heard by this guy, a friend that I was in love with. Honestly it might have been for anyone to hear me…to see me. However, I did not promote this blog more than sending out an email to all my friends. Some stayed on but as time continued more did not return to read my blog on a consistant basis. I had one steady fan, Aunt Pat. Who believed so much in my work and my words. I am eternally grateful to her.
After a huge broken heart, several disappointing ends to friendships and beautiful starts to new relationships. I am not sure if the energy of this particular blog suites me any longer. The lack of having an appropriate tool (a blog friendly computer) also helped to prolong my return to this blog space. Since that time I have grown spiritually on so many different levels and have grown to better understand the meanings of forgiveness, love and peace. And though I am not sure that I have completely embodied those words or live/d those words, I can say that I *feel* them differently.
Where I am now is in a space where I am okay with not having it all figured out and a faith that grounds me in knowing that I am where I should be. That even when it hurts and I do not understand, we are all trying to be good, understood and heard.
So, what does this mean for this blog? The answer is I do not know. I do know that I am ever drawn to words, be they words that I create or that I receive. I want to create a meduim where I can share this but while I wait for the answers to come…I will just be okay with where I am now.